Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in aobboi's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 16th, 2002
10:08 pm	Well goodness me, I'm here... It's not like this is a sudden post, but it's taken me this long to figure out that I could update my journal without having to download stuff... So there's nothing really that can be said to sum up two months in one entry, so I'm really not going to bother. James is in Barbados at the moment, and gets back on monday, after a week away. I've felt really lonely while he's gone, and quite isolated in this bastard cottage, but once we've moved on tuesday, things should start looking up. Especially when I get paid, and have alot more freedom with my money. Things with James are great... couldn't be better really... madly in love and enjoying every part of being together. I can't believe I've found someone who can sit and talk with me through the night, go out clubbing, have a relaxing bath on sunday, or play playstation with me when the mood takes me. That's enough from me tonight, I'm going to make another trip in the car... Your host... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 18th, 2002
11:21 pm	A week to go... Time seems to be just whizzing past, yet not fast enough for my liking. Despite the fact it's a week away, I have so much to do, I doubt whether I'll get everything I need to done. Things like going to the dentist, blood tests, bank loans and all sorts of crap take up most of my time. Tomorrow is my last day at Optus. It'll be strange to see the end of my time there... so much has happened in the last 3 and a half years there. I hope I find a job I like in England... James is getting as impatient as me. Poor sod has had to wait for months for all this to come about, with next to nothing to do in order of planning or organising. He's just sitting and waiting... That said, he's just so amazing. I've never met anyone like him at all. I was thinking the other day, I'm so used to having him at the end of the phone, it's going to take some adjusting waking up next to him. God I can't wait to have him near me. I'm falling in love with someone I haven't seen in months and it's hurting like hell. I keep playing over and over in my head the moment I see him at the airport. I don't know what I'm going to do, whether it be me pass out from tension, start crying like a baby, or scream like a girl. There's just so much emotion that's been bottled up over the last few months that you simply can't emote over the phone, or through email. I've taken to a few small habits while here though. I can't get to sleep without holding the puppy he sent me for my birthday (no not a real one). My anthem for this whole time in my life is Everyday by Kim English. Stupid as it may seem to hold a dance song so close, it strangely is an extremely good way to keep my mind on track when I'm depressed, confused, or don't know what I'm doing. "I've got my health, I've got my strength, I'm in my right mind. I still got breath, so I got hope that love is on my side. And where I go, I know I need not look behind me. He keeps me safe, he give's me something he does everyday." Despite my rediculous phone bills, I have to speak to him every day. He's the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing when I fall asleep. I just need to be there with my boyfriend... I've fallen in love.... Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Kim English - Everyday (Hex Hector Mix) (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 15th, 2002
12:45 am	Less than two weeks to go and I don't know where I'm at. Everything is still on track, and it's all good to go, just waiting for the day really. I've had alot of trouble over the past month trying to keep myself focused. It's been so long since I have seen James, and so long since we've been able to look at eachother, I'm finding it hard to feel that connection we first had when we met. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm doing the right thing, I'm just having trouble keeping my eye on my goal. Bianca said a brilliant thing to me today 'if I'd have been with James for 6 months, or a year, I'd still be having these same thoughts and worries'. And she is spot on. It's not even a problem, just something I think about every now and then when I step back and think about what's making me go over there, and turn my whole world upside down. I guess not seeing my boyfriend for 6 months will do that to you... This is probably going to be one of the last posts in some time, as I have to sell this computer in a few days. Maybe the next thing I write will be from my new home in Poynings... Until then... Current Mood: tired Current Music: Kim English - Everyday (Hex Hector Mix) (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 28th, 2002
2:27 am	I've moved, and I hate it. All for an obvious cause, but I'm back at North Rocks and hating every second of it. I haven't stopped sneezing for the past 3 days, it's freezing, and I feel like I am staying in a hotel for the next 8 weeks. I have no home. I'm hoping to God that when I arrive in Brighton that I will, through some miracle, feel like I have a home and am supposed to be there. I guess I've got a bit more of a taste as to what to expect now, with me already feeling homesick (for what, I do not know), but I'm still scared of what's to come. James is doing everything he can, and is being a complete angel about the whole thing. I couldn't ask for more out of a boy... :-) I'm off to bed (if I can stop sniffing and wheezing)... Your host... Current Mood: tired Current Music: Ace Of Base - Beautiful Life (Extended Mix) (Comment on this)
Friday, April 19th, 2002
12:02 am	updates updates updates.... Well lots has happened since I last wrote (again). I will start with the obvious. James and I have been going along amazingly. Calling eachother at least two times a day, messages, emails... everything. It's a really strange feeling to be falling for someone who I haven't seen in over a month now. Every so often I get the jitters and wonder if I'm being crazy, but I always get a text message, email or phone call shortly after that quickly kills any fears I have. It's amazing to have someone so completely into me just like I am with him... And the big development being me actually moving over to Brighton in June. Have my ticket, am about to quit my job at Optus (praise the lord), and am saving everything I earn, but I'm taking off on June 26th, and not coming back. It's going to be one hell of a year, but I've got the full support of my boy, so I think I'll be able to do it... just need to find myself a job over there... hmmm Your host... Current Mood: content Current Music: Marco V & Benjamin - Lay All Your Love (Wayne G Heaven Mix) (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 3rd, 2002
8:35 pm	Not that much to report on... Went out over the weekend to ARQ, and realised how much I don't miss going out. Was good to see the few people I was out with, but I don't think I'm going to be going out until just before I go. Am going to go looking at airfares this week, with a view to having my ticket sorted out in the next two weeks. Moving back to North Rocks in a few weeks too, which I'm not looking forward to all that much. It's a means to an end, which I keep telling myself, but it's going to suck the big one even so. Though it is only going to be for 8 weeks (hopefully me not to return to Sydney), but we'll see I guess... Had the past two days off work which has sucked. Been a bit sick with a sore throat/flu thing. Though I've had at least two calls from James every day for the past few, so that's definately kept me happy. Worrying how one person can hold so much sway over my happiness, but given that he feels the same way, I shouldn't really think about it too much... now that we're actually officially seeing eachother it shouldn't be a concern. My boyfriend the pom... haha :o) *swoon* ...your host. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Living Joy - Dreamer 2002 (Wayne G. Mix) (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 26th, 2002
12:52 am	Having gotten hold of all the shit that was going through my head, I began wondering what the hell I'm doing here. Same city for 22 years, and finding it harder and harder to see myself here in the future. I've always thought there will only be a few times in your life where you are truly given an opportunity to change the things you don't like, and this is one of them. All my local problems aside though, I was missing him like hell. Making things harder was James. No fault of his own, but to my surprise, he didn't stop talking to me just because he was back home. Messages every day, emails, phone calls, the lot. Hard for me to try to forget someone when they won't let me (maybe that was his plan). Since he left we haven't lost contact for more than 12 hours. I can only write words that don't even begin to describe him, but he's put simply one of the most singularly sweet, gentle, infectiously happy, smart, beautiful people I've ever met. And yes, all this after such a limited time with him (you can appreciate how much I want to just be in the same room again). He's cheered me up when I'm down, and been the most completely wonderful person since the minute we met. He wasn't home for 5 minutes when he called and told me he wanted me over there as soon as possible. Way to pull me in another direction, life. Cutting a long story short(er), I figured it out. After a few hard decisions, and a few pissed off friends, I'm not beaten yet. I'm at a point in my life where I can up and move, so I am. I'm going back to North Rocks *shudder* at the end of our current lease (end of April), and taking a holiday to Brighton at the end of June. Going for (officially) 3 weeks. I've told a few close friends only, don't be surprised if I don't come back. I'm going to clear away as much of my debt as possible, but I don't want to be here anymore. My only reason for coming back would be if I completely hated it, or had no job, but when I go, I'm looking. I cried for 3 days when he left; I don't know if I can go through another goodbye. Off chance I do come back after my 'holiday', I'm saving everything I earn, and I'm moving before the end of the year. Like I said, I'm in a position in my life where I can just go. Little debt, and what I have I can clear out reasonably quickly, in a job which really means nothing to me, and my desire to go is greater than my fear of fucking up. This journal will no doubt become a scratch post for me to vent my frustrations at my relationship with a boy 200000km away, and my dramas organising myself to get over there, but here goes....it's been a complete headfuck so far, but I'm not letting it get me down. And that's where I'm at. Gaps will be filled in as time goes on, but that's been the most crazy month of my life.... and I don't think it's going to get any more sane soon... (Comment on this)
12:33 am	Having organised to meet up the night of Mardi Gras, I was looking forward to the party. Managed to haull arse and get everyone there before 11pm, and amazingly managed to find James at 11:30pm. From then on, we were never apart. We spent the entire night with eachother. Dancing, walking, talking, kissing, just having the time of our lives. Details are out of the question, with the night being a massive blur... afterwards we ended up coming back to ARQ, spending morning recovery there. After that was done, I came home, he went back to his hotel, with promises to meet up for night time recovery, which we did. For some reason we ended up back there once again, spending what was his final night in Australia inside that bloody club. With the benefit of hindsight we should have gone and done something low key, but once under the influence, who could be told? Late that morning, after a few circumstances beyond our control (for the third time), we went our seperate ways. I came back a few short hours later, and took James to the airport. Luckily we ended up spending a good 4 hours just walking around, talking, having a relaxing time, but I couldn't stop thinking that this was probably the last time I was going to see him. A farewell at the gates that gave about 100 people a sight they'll not soon forget, and he was gone. As soon as I met him, he was on a plane back to England. I drove home, held myself together nicely, then laid down and it was over. Saying I fell to bits is an understatement. It's hard to describe why I was like that, but I was and it sucked. Part coming down, part saying goodbye to someone I know I wasn't supposed to... for the next 5 days I hardly moved from my couch. Between crying, falling asleep, wanting to die and eating, there wasn't much else for me to do except feel miserable. ... (Comment on this)
12:18 am	Argh I don't know where to begin... Well not much more change can be fitted into one journal entry, so I'm just going to start at the start (errr duh). Mardi Gras 2002, so completely amazing, yet so scary. Thursday night before Mardi Gras, finish work, and am convinced to go to drinks at ARQ with Bianca from work. Arrive at ARQ, only to be told I can't go in because they're too full, and there's a private party on. Deep breaths in, came close to pulling the "Do you know who I am" line, but left, and went to Stonewall for drinks instead. Went upstairs, where it was surprisingly busy (especially for a thursday night). Got quite easily pissed on Long Island Teas and Vodka Lime & Soda's (my drink de jour). Dancing merrily (well like a filthy alcaholic), and spot a cute blonde guy across the room... flash a nice smil hello, and go back to my stumbling. Next I look up, he's dancing next to me smiling again and dancing on his own. Swallow my nerves, and say hi, smalltalk while dancing, and he's actually quite nice. From England, over for Mardi Gras, just out for a few drinks with friends. He wasn't telling me to fuck off, so I offer to buy him a drink... I did, but pissed off my nut I had to run up Oxford St to get money out, come back in, clamber upstairs and buy the drink, the find where he was. Done successfully, we spoke for a while, then his friends left. Offered for him to stay out with us dancing, so it was me, Bianca, and James, the boy from Brighton. We ended up at ARQ, which was busy as all hell. Spent yet another night there, doing what we do. We all came back to my place here, sat around and talked, then went our seperate ways. Bianca home before her hubby realised she went out, James to climb the Harbour Bridge, and me to get my haircut. More in the next post... (Comment on this)
Friday, February 1st, 2002
12:02 pm	hmm just a quick post I guess... Today I'm going to enrol in my German course. Gotta get off my arse to actually do it, but I'm enrolling in the 6 month course now, which should be really fun. The first step to me getting over there (if it eventuates). And I've also started seeing someone... Tim and I have pretty much seen eachother every day for the past week. I kind of cringe to say it, but it was a net thing, but we've hit it off lots. We're going on another date tonight. Taking him to see Lord Of The Rings and then to dinner... should be fun :o) Don't have time to write much... Your host... Current Mood: happy Current Music: Kylie Minogue - In Your Eyes (Comment on this)
12:01 pm	hmm just a quick post I guess... Today I'm going to enrol in my German course. Gotta get off my arse to actually do it, but I'm enrolling in the 6 month course now, which should be really fun. The first step to me getting over there (if it eventuates). And I've also started seeing someone... Tim and I have pretty much seen eachother every day for the past week. I kind of cringe to say it, but it was a net thing, but we've hit it off lots. We're going on another date tonight. Taking him to see Lord Of The Rings and then to dinner... should be fun :o) Don't have time to write much... Your host... Current Mood: happy Current Music: Kylie Minogue - In Your Eyes (Comment on this)
Friday, January 25th, 2002
10:38 pm	Not much to report on... work, sleep, work sleep, ARQ, sleep, work... blaa... Been talking to George alot lately. It's really good to finally get back on track with him, and do better as a friend in that regard. I've felt like I've been really half arsed and let things go a bit, but now that we're back on track, I get the feeling we're getting alot closer. He's making tentative plans to come to Oz in August/September, which would just be amazing. I don't know how I'd cope with seeing him for the first time. Seeing someone face to face when I've known him for 4 or 5 years. I can't think of anyone that knows more about what's going on in my head... knowing me I'll turn into a great blubbering emotional mess.... we'll see. Enzo update, I've basically given up on that front. Well... I wouldn't say given up, rather, focussed on someone more promising. I went out on saturday night and bumped into him with the guy he aparently was dating, but they were getting a bit more cosey than friends, so yeah... moving on with life. Not that I worry too much. I'm looking forward to going out on a date with Tim. Pissed nonetheless that I'm working this saturday though, as I got asked out to dinner there... we'll see... :o) Also began playing with the idea of moving to Germany in a year or two. I'm starting a German course in a week, so I can get my language skills back up, and once I've done all three courses, I'm thinking of moving over for a year or two. Kind of scary though, but even so, a really exciting one too :) To leave all the crap of Sydney behind would be something I can't even imagine... haha Not much else to write. Going to Caesoirs tonight to see who's there, have a bevvy and a dance with Dust. Should be erm... interesting :) Your host... Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: Latanza Waters - Stand Up (Thunderpuss Remix) (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 29th, 2001
11:12 pm	hmm don't know where to start really... nothing too interesting to report on. Kinda been walking around in a daze lately. I broke it off with Tate a few weeks ago because he's being a bit of a stupid cunt. Got to the point where I didn't buy the excuses with the broken phone etc etc. I'm sorry, you can call people to buy $500 worth of drugs every weekend but not me? Get fucked... I've tried to remain friends with him, but I don't deal with friends just lying to me about this and that, so I'm leaving him be. Still enjoying living with Dust. Got a few million bills piling up at the moment, but I'm getting a really big pay next week, so they'll go then. I'm also holding a soiree as a present for all my close friends on the 5th, which should be ultra cool. Probably turn into a trashy night in with the creche :) Then there's monday night which is new years... good gref, I intend to get most trashy... should be good :o) Current Mood: tired Current Music: Anastiacia - Not That Kind (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 3rd, 2001
12:09 am	well well well... Quick update before I go to bed (I just wrote war and peace on this cunt, and it crashed). Tate and I are still seeing eachother. Despite everyone calling us boyfriends, we're still doing seeing eachother thing. I guess it's almost boyfriends, but not quite. I'm really quite cool with taking it slowly, but it's starting to get a bit worrying. I'm starting to fall for him, and it scares me that this is as far as we're going to get. I'd really like to talk to him, take stock, and make sure everything is cool with the way we're going, but yeah. Been reall sick this week too (collapsed lung, again - yay). All week I've waited for a call from Tate just to see if I'm okay, and I've had fuck all... to say I'm unimpressed is an understatement. He's admittadly had a broken phone, but it's not that hard to track down a friend with my number, or call me. Home on a sunday night, and still waiting for a call... I've moved to Artarmon now with Dust. Kinda cool really... everyone is expecting us to have arguments and not get on well, but we're doing really really well. We've said that if we disagree on anything we're just going to out with it, but I'm really happy with the way things have been going... tops :) Anyway, before this cunt fucks up again, I'm going to bed... I've had waiting for a phone call that's not going to come... tired, yes, emotional, yes, pissed off, yes. erf Current Mood: tired Current Music: The Corrs - Only When I Sleep (Comment on this)
Friday, November 2nd, 2001
1:57 pm	Oh yeah, and the tongue ring is no longer. Going out last night, I fiddled and played and moved it around without realising. The result, my tongue aches like a bitch, slightly swollen, and not looking too pretty... took it out an hour ago, and it feels so much better. Out it goes, reluctantly, but to much releif. :) (Comment on this)
1:54 pm	hmm I don't know where to start. I'm completely knackered, but for various reasons, I can't go to bed just yet. Moving house, organising that, my car's seemingly increasing problems (cross fingers for me), and aparent inability to not go out for a few days/weeks at a time. Anyway... Been going out incredible amounts of late. Okay, a few weeks ago, Shaun and I are out, doing our own things, Shaun meets Robby. They hit it off, and one thing leads to another (quite by accident), and they've been dating for 2 weeks now. Robby, being the singlemost generous person I've met in years, will not have a bar of me coming out and fresh-airing it, so I'm paid for in every way possible. Kind of frustrating, as I don't know how to take gifts at the best of times, but we've been going out a bit lately. Shaun, Robby, and I, and no one can get in our way :P Last weekend, as I danced away on the podium at ARQ as I am seemingly doing every weekend, noticed a tattoo, and went to investigate. It looked cool, then I walked away. Realising how rude I must have seemed, I went back, and met the person attatched, and apologised. Ended up going to sit down, talking for a while, swapping numbers, doing the meet n greet. A week later, we've gone on 2 dates, and things look like we have a big maybe here. :) I'm not counting chickens before they're hatched, but things to date are going excellent. I'm in no real hurry to do anything, so it's not mentally stressing. And I've also got alot of lessons under my belt from Pokey & I, so we'll just have to wait and see. And as a bit of gratuitous publicising, we had our first kiss this morning while laying on the grass under the Harbour Bridge. Perfectly clear, warm morning, sun blaring down on us, and nervous as hell I did it... a very Hallmark moment. :))) Couple with that the moving of house tomorrow to Artarmon, my attempts to get my defect notice cleared before they unregister my car (almost inevitable really :(( ), and my hopes that something isn't broken in the rear wheel. Strangely enough, with all these problems, or speedhumps as I'm trying to consider them, I'm still a bit fucking happy. Damn weird, since two weeks ago, I whispered to Shaun out of the blue 'have a feeling I'm not going to be single for much longer'. Again, not counting chickens, but kinda weird nonetheless... Now if you don't mind, I'm exhausted, and have shitloads to still do... Laterz... Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Kylie Minogue - Love At First Sight (Comment on this)
Monday, October 15th, 2001
10:11 pm	Well... I haven't written for a while, but I don't really care :-P Haven't been up to much lately. Having trouble saving money for fucking moving, but I'm trying and trying and trying... hope it works :-\ Friday night I went to the Corrs with Shaun which was awesome... it really snuck up on me, but it was definately worth the 6 month wait between buying tickets and seeing it. V-cool... Saturday night was a big one at ARQ. Got there really early *cheaparse*, spent almost 14 hours inside, and only left when I got bored :) There is only so much you can dance and still find it fun. Chris from Stonewall (on wednesday) was there, who asked for my number (woohoo). Remains to be seen if he calls or not... I'm not pinning hopes though, we'll see. On another note, told a good friend I had a crush on him for ages... don't know if it was the best thing to do, but something I've felt for years, so yeah... don't expect anything to come of it, but now it's out there... in my coming down time today, it's started fucking with my head... maybe I've stirred something that was content laying there untouched... don't know what to do really... Sleep time... Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: The Corrs - Would You Be Happier (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2001
11:33 pm	Hmm just a quite word of note... looking through the ARQ website tonight, they have put the picture of me and Matt up there. After hassling the camera girl, I can't believe it. Still worried though... after the stuff in New York, I still haven't heard back from him... hope he is okay... Current Mood: tired Current Music: Tamia - Stranger In My House (Comment on this)
Monday, September 17th, 2001
10:38 am	Forgot to mention... When the tragedy in New York happened, I immediately wrote to George and Matt in the USA just to make sure they're both okay... Got an email back from George straight away, and still haven't heard from Matt... kinda worried, but it's being taken over by reassuring feelings that he was nowhere near things... Hope so... (Comment on this)
10:35 am	Again it seems to have been a while, so I'll do the traditional breif update before I run out the door... Not been up to much lately. Been going out whenever I get the chance though. It seems me taking a break off ARQ has had a flow on effect, and I'm now going out twice as much everywhere else... I can't win! :o) Been doing Stonewall, Caesers, Gilligans, ARQ (only on thursdays) and others... good greif. Spending lots of time with Tim, Gareth, and Michael which is good... feeling alot better friends with them lately... kinda cool. On the flipside, haven't seen creche boys in a long time. I don't know what it is, but I just haven't been anywhere or seen anyone. Maybe I'm moving out of it? Who knows... I certainly don't hate any of the boys or girls, it's just been a sudden stop to me seeing them. With Sleaze coming up in 2 weeks, and Trent and Troy's housewarming in 1, I'll see them then, but things might get a bit weird... Can't help but feel I've pissed off Jon by seeing Troy during their relationship woes. Don't know what to think there... I haven't exactly told Troy to do anything, just been an ear for him to sound ideas off, but I think there's been a definite cooling between Jon and I... maybe this will get cleared up soon too.... *crosses fingers* I'm off to meet Gareth for coffee... Current Mood: happy Current Music: Jennifer Lopez - Ain't It Funny (Comment on this)